Art, life and whimsy

Flirting with the hairdresser

If you should notice that my hair is a bit shorter than usual, there is a story behind it.

Last week I went for one of my infrequent haircuts. The hairdresser was new to me, a young Indian woman. She offered me a nice cup of coffee and we fell into easy banter.

“Short in front please, but I like to have my ears covered.”

All went well until she started to thin out the body of the hair. Lifting the hair she did these fluttery snips so fast that it looked like the wings of a hummingbird. No visibe movement of the scissors and the hair just melting away. A haircut is as sensual as a massage anyway, and the combination of magical technique and the charm of my hairdresser put me into a kind of a trance, or rather an enchantment. As ever, I was most appreciative.

“This is just so good! Like watching a master artist at work.”

A rose in winter. One of my Saturday morning demos.

A rose in winter.
One of my Saturday morning demos.

“Oh I wish I could paint, but I am useless at art.”

“That is not true. Anybody who is a natural musician, or a writer, or a poet, is already an artist, and will make a great painter. It demands delicacy, sensitivity, courage, and sensuality. You have all these qualities.”

“Oh I don’t know.”

“It is true. You should try it…”

And so it went. Whenever she asked if my hair was looking good, I would say yes, it’s wonderful, but maybe just a little here, or a touch there. By the time I realised that I did not want the magic to stop, I also became aware that she was also in the spell of the moment.

All this time my hair was getting shorter and shorter, nicely so. When it was eventually time to stop, I felt a pang of sadness, the more so as it wil be a number of months before I’ll need another haircut.

This is the thing. This kind of event is the artistic experience.

This is what we hope to capture in our art.

Saturday demo tomorrow 

On Saturday morning 2nd May, at 9:30 at the Saveur Restaurant on the Simonstown waterfront, I shall do an oil painting demo, an alla prima portrait study in oils.

The venue is on the middle level of the Simonstown Waterfront by the jetty.

R60 includes a cup of coffee from Saveur. And you do not have to bring a chair!

Sorry sir, we have to search you 

Last night I nearly wet myself laughing. I was reading some snippets on RT while Anne was dozing off next to me.

“Anne,” I said, and then I started to giggle.

“Anne… they have these two Airport Security Officers at Denver Airport.” I started to laugh.

They had these two Airport Security Officers at Denver AIrport. Now Denver is my port of entry and exit to the US…

Now these two had this thing. The guy liked to do a body search of attactive guys, and he would give a sign to the woman when a man he liked was coming through the security check. So everybody has to go through this machine, which scans your whole body…

By now I could hardly talk I was laughing so much.

It scans your body looking for any suspicious shapes or packages which should not be there…

Oh Lord!

… which should not be there…

From next door Jean called out, “Will you two please cool it! I have classes tomorrow.” This just made it worse, because now I was screaming with laughter, but trying to keep silent!

So as the guy came through the machine, they switched it over to scan a woman. Sure enough, the machine red-lighted a suspicious “parcel” where a woman should not have one.

“Sorry sir,” she would say, “We have to do a body search of you.”

“If you would step over here then my partner can do the search…” And on the scan a suspicious shape woud show up in the groin area.

The male agent did the search, feeling around carefully to make sure that there were no dangerous items secreted in the area, and then they would apologise and wave the guy through.

The sad thing is, they were caught out and fired.

A lot of people did not find this funny, but that just made me laugh all the harder.

“They should at least give the guy a choice of whether he wanted to woman or the man to conduct the search,” I told Anne, and eventually, still giggling like a madman, I fell asleep.

All you Montana friends, next time you go through Denver security on your way to or from Venice, please remember this tale and think of me!

Lose your heart and find your soul.

12 days in Venice. 19 to 31 October 2015.

With limited places left, contact me now for the experience of a lifetime. 12 days of painting from dawn to dusk, and losing yourself in the most beautiful city in the world.

19 to 31 October 2015. 12 days painting with Ryno Swart. 

1200 Euro sharing and 1450 Euro for a single room.

Book by emailing Ryno or by phoning 021 786 3975.

Find my art.

View my work at and at my favourite galleries.

Your passion cannot be painting. It can only be that which you are celebrating in your painting.


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